


I have died everyday waiting for you

by justateenagewholock



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:37:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2066670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justateenagewholock/pseuds/justateenagewholock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the song "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perrie, this fic explores River and Eleven's feelings towards each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I have died everyday waiting for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So this is another 1:30am wonder, so please forgive any spelling/grammar/messed up-ness! I was listening to the song "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perrie and wanted to make a video about it, but then I remembered that I can't do that!

I have died everyday waiting for you

Another battlefield, another background for their constant running. The wild escapades through time, the reputation which preceded them wherever they went. The eternal dance of the Doctor and his River through the stars as they hopped from planet to planet, fixing and saving and adopting and running. Always running, never ceasing, hearts - after all, they had four between them - thrashing against their chests almost audibly. 

The nights with which she had associated the Doctor - even the more relaxed and lovely ones involving gate crashing a party or two and being swept off her feet by a romantic gesture or other - continued to be her only source of happiness through the endlessly dull days of sitting behind bars, baiting guards and waiting. 

Her hearts ached for him, for the soft caress of his possessive hands over her smooth curves, for his soft lips brushing over hers, but knew that she could not allow herself to fall for him. Here he was, her parents' best friend, the subject of her murder, the greatest mystery in the universe and the most dangerously powerful man she'd ever met. She couldn't allow herself to love him. 

And yet, when the heart has decided to love, there can be no stopping it.

(Heart beats fast  
Colours and promises  
How to be brave  
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?)

When he arrives in the corridor outside her cell, her heart swells at his gangly form, his uncoordinated limbs strangely perfect. 

His graceful strut towards her (of course he struts, he has the heart of a toddler), though she'd never admit it, makes her knees go weak with desire, and she knows. She knows what she's been hiding from, what she's refusing to admit.

She has fallen madly, irreversibly, ridiculously in love with him.

(Watching you stand alone  
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow  
One step closer)

Outside of the thick prison bars, the rain raged on, endless and unrelenting in its utter misery. River Song sat on her lumpy and ugly bunk with head buried in the little blue book which was her solace and constant companion, waiting. Always waiting. 

Waiting for him.

(I have died everyday waiting for you)

But how could she not?

How could she abandon this powerful and inexorable force which drove her to him? This deep, deep love for the Doctor, her Doctor, which threatened to consume her from the inside out?

She waited for him because she loved him. She loved everything about him. His inexplicable fashion sense, that ridiculous bow tie, the unbelievable lateness with which he was attributed, despite the official title of 'Time Lord.' Her love for him burned across the vast expanse of time itself, consuming everything in the universe which came in its way. It was almost an aura, a glow which surrounded the couple as they wreaked havoc through the galaxies.

(Darling don't be afraid  
I have loved you for a thousand years   
I'll love you for a thousand more)

Atop that pyramid, she knew exactly what she wanted: him. She wanted him to know how much he was loved, how much he was cared for, how much he would be missed but all he could respond with was hurt. He insulted her, bullied her, and yet she still loved him despite that. She felt her tears welling up as time stood still, and she told him the truth. The unsinkable truth that she loved him no matter what he did, had done, will do. 

She refused to let anyone, not even death, take away her love who stood infront of her. As he removed his bow tie and offered her the end, she knew. The Time Lord instinct buried deep inside her knew that their every breath, their every hour had come to this. Their wedding.

(Time stands still  
Beauty and all she is  
I will be brave   
I will not let anything take away  
Standing in front of me  
Every breath   
Every hour has come to this

One step closer)

Even after the wedding, her love for him blazed on. However, it was then that he realised the true extent of his passion for her.

This woman, this entirely unpredictable beauty who had waltzed into his life, taken control of his TARDIS and snogged him senseless. How could he not love her?

Every waking thought became taunted with the bright smile she gave him when flirting shamelessly, the soft sweep of her feminine curves, the gentle pressure of her lips against his neck and the look of pure desire he saw in her eyes every time they spoke. He pledged his hearts to her on that pyramid, now and forever, always and completely.

(I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid  
I have loved you for a thousand years   
I'll love you for a thousand more)

He had known other loves before her, of course. She had others before him. But with her in his arms, with her infuriating, gravity-defying hair tickling his nose and her unique smell of time itself, he knew that she was the only one for him. After the destruction of Gallifrey, the end of his family there, and Rose, he had given up on the concept of love, preferring instead to bury himself deep in the heart of the TARDIS, learning all her mechanical secrets because she would never leave him. She would never hurt him.

River's sudden and tragic entrance into his life had changed his perspective. He had never been one for "love at first sight" or all the other clichés, but with River it felt right. Like he could let all his problems melt away with her in his arms, like exploring every inch of her body with his fingers and later tongue could ease the burn of aching loss. And it did, to an extent. Until he lost her too.

(All along I believed I would find you  
Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more)

One step closer to the Library. That's how he began to measure the days. When the day of the singing towers finally came upon him, he could not contain his desperate desire for more time. One lifetime was not enough time to fill his love for her. This time, however, time could not be rewritten.

(One step closer  
One step closer)

Once saved to the data core and floating through endless cyberspace, raising the same two children over and over again, River's deep passion for the Doctor only intensified. She longed for him with all that she was, every molecule of her body reaching out for the man she loved. Her fear of being forgotten, of being left behind, a fear the Silence had implanted into her, began to make her nights unbearable once more. Without the Doctor to kiss away the nightmares, she shrieked and writhed as CAL and Doctor Moon watched with worry in their eyes. 

It was only on a day about seventy years (to River) after being saved to the data core that she began to forget. She became bitter and resentful of both the Doctor for leaving her and for CAL for forcing her to stay. She felt so real, despite being nothing more than a few lines of computer code. It became the case that River only wanted to see her husband once more to tell him what a lousy git he was, and swear to never speak to him again. She told CAL this, and the little girl's face inexplicably fell. She took River by the hand and led her out into the main courtyard where she had first appeared, and River watched as that perfect blue box materialised before her eyes. Unlike the scenery around her, the TARDIS looked real, it had substance, it was beautiful. Her mother, the reason she was who she was. A hand appeared out of the door, but not the smooth and young hand she was used to seeing. The hand of someone much older, calloused and wrinkled with use. The hand of a man who was not the Doctor she married atop the pyramid. The hand of (she quickly counted inside her head) the twelfth incarnation of her love. She took the hand, and the TARDIS dematerialised off the crisp grass.

(I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid  
I have loved you for a thousand years   
I'll love you for a thousand more)

The reunion of River and her Doctor was passionate, intense, and loud. After pulling her inside his ship (with hideous interior) into his arms and mashed his lips against hers. In the warmth of her touch, all her resentment, bitterness and hatred melted away and she kissed him back with an equal, if not greater passion before the pair made their way down the TARDIS corridor to their deep blue and beautifully familiar bedroom. The Doctor and River, reunited once more. 

This time, nothing would come in their way.

(All along I believed I would find you  
Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more)


End file.
